Guest writer: Jonathan Barakat… 5 things ‘not’ to do after a break up; the male perspective;

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Break-ups are hard. End of. Whether you’re the one ending it or the one being dumped either way you can guarantee that next few weeks/months are going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions. You’re sure to encounter the highest highs and the lowest lows which can come and go at the mention of a name, place or simply hearing a song on the radio. BUT there are some things you can do to make it easier on yourself, so heres my top 5 things NOT TO DO after a break-up.

1. Don’t post attention seeking photos on social media

Although you might be going out more and having a good time to ‘drown your sorrows’ which isn’t always the wrong thing to do. If you’re going out of your way to post, in the hope that they will see you’re having a great time without them and feel jealous or angry you’re still thinking about them and they will know that. Not to mention all of your other followers seeing your reckless behaviour and potentially judging.

2. Don’t jump straight onto dating apps

You can guarantee all of your friends are going to be encouraging you to ‘get back on the horse’ and to ‘not give up on love’. Even though I happen to agree with this, maybe the next day/week is a bit too soon. Give yourself time to hurt and heal. if you don’t you’re only prolonging the agony.

3. Don’t keep contacting them

If they ended it then for whatever reason, he’s made his decision. Chasing and grovelling never got anyone anywhere and question whether you would actually want them to take you back out of pity. Remember though its hard, if they wanted you back they would call. They have got your number.

4. Don’t get over them by getting under someone

Some people think this is one of the best ways to cure heart break but I couldn’t think of anything more ridiculous. You’re upset, vulnerable and your judgement is definitely going to be impaired. Don’t do something you’ll later regret, focus on yourself and not other people. Also not to mention sleeping with someone ends all chances of reconciliation and is the final nail in the coffin.

5. Don’t stalk their social profiles

This includes getting your friends to check up on him and report back. Don’t forget that curiosity killed the cat. If its over it’s over and you have no right to be annoyed about who they’re hanging out with or talking to. Just be thankful that they had the decency to end your relationship before moving on rather than doing it behind your back.

So there you have them, my top 5 things to avoid doing when going through a break up. No one by any stretch of the imagination is saying it’s going to be easy but following these 5 steps will definitely make it easier and have you moving on much quicker.

“Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars” – Violeta Para

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Seeing each other;

imageWhat is seeing each other? We all come across this stage before entering into the official stage, but what exactly does seeing each other entail?

So you’ve been on a few dates and are both into one another but it’s too soon to be in a full blown relationship, so you start ‘seeing each other’. But what are the rules? Is this just a less scary word than ‘relationship’? Or is this another stage of dating?…

Are you allowed to see other people? If so, does this mean you can get away with getting with someone else? ‘It’s not cheating as we’re not together’. Who’s heard that before? Surely if you’re into someone enough to start seeing them you wouldn’t be looking else where.

Maybe it’s just a new word for dating because dating someone sounds weird for our generation. Supposedly it’s a way of showing each other that you’re keen to be together but without being too keen that he backs off.

That brings us to a whole new topic… ‘The Chase’